Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Dead duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.  As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry.  Your duck has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure.  Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested.  "I mean, you haven't done any tests on him or anything!  He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room.  He returned a few minutes later with a large black Labrador Retriever.  As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, placed his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from beak to tail.  He then looked up at the vet and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.  A few minutes later, he returned with a cat.  The cat jumped up onto the table and also sniffed the bird from head to webbed toes.  The cat sat back on her haunches, shook her head, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm so sorry, but I can confirm that this is a deceased duck." 
As the woman walked out of the office through the reception room, the veterinarian's assistant handed her the bill. 
"Fifteen hundred dollars!" she cried, "$1500 just to tell me my duck is dead?!"
"Yes, ma'am," the veterinarian explained.  "Twenty dollars for the appointment, $990 for the cat scan, and $490 for the lab report."