Thursday, December 8, 2011


In my next life, I want to live it backwards. Hear me out, it would be a great way to live.
You start out dead to get that out of the way right off the bat. Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy, you spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.
When you start work, you get a nice gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day, until you're too young to work. Then you go to school, date, drink, and party.
As you get even younger you become a kid again. You go to elementary school, play, and have no responsibilities. In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy.
You spend your last nine months floating peacefully in luxurious spa-like conditions, central heating, room service on tap, the works.
Until finally, you end your life as an orgasm.
I rest my case.