Testy

As an engineer, I require certifications to prove my capabilities. Yes, even the stuff I've been doing since third grade. I still need that little paper which shows I know how to do what I do. But studying for the exam can be hard some times. Mostly, I've forgotten my study skills since I graduated. But sometimes the companies behind these exams make it hard to share information about them.

CompTIA provides certifications for IT professionals, such as A+ and Security+. (ISC)² offers the CISSP for senior managers in security positions like a CISO. Of course, all the vendors like Microsoft and Cisco also offer certifications for their products. And they all offer all manner of tools to help your earn their certificates. But have you priced out some of these offerings? And that's not for the test to get the certificate, that's for the training to get ready to take the test.

And of course these test providers work hard to make sure their tests don't leak out to the internet. Some test providers are more aggressive than others but they'd all rather you didn't reveal their exams because otherwise what would people pay for. Which I why I won't talk about specific questions. But I will talk about some basic test-taking strategy and some differences I've noticed between vendors.

Charitable Lawyer

There is only one lawyer joke; all the rest are true stories.

The United Way realized it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?"
The lawyer thinks for a minute before replying. "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyong her ability to pay?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh, no, I didn't know that."
"Secondly," continues the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six kids?"
The stricken volunteer begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.
"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a horrible car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled with severe learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"
The humiliated United Way representative, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea."
"That's fine," the lawyer finishes. "So if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any money to you?!"

Special Offer

Chrome sleeve by Rickshaw

Like I said in my First Impressions post about my new Chromebook, I got this device through a special offer from Google. Included in this offer was a custom built notebook sleeve from textile manufacturer Rickshaw Bagworks of San Francisco. This notebook sleeve isn't even available with the Amazon pre-orders. So why tell you about this? I'm bragging. I just want to point out how much better life is this deep into the Google cloud. You get hooked up with all sorts of cool extras. Like exclusive custom sleeves.

Chromebook Second Impressions

Next verse, much like the first. I am still impressed by the hardware Samsung put into the Series 5. The wireless antennas, both cellular and wifi, are quick to connect and hold a strong signal. The screen is bright and easy to read. The worst feature of the hardware, and it's going to sound a bit weird, is the keyboard is too big. No really. I've gotten used to typing on the Motorola Droid on-screen keyboard. The Samsung Chromebook keyboard is agoraphobia-inducing. It's expansive and the keys feel like they're too far apart. I know, quirky little nitpick.

I like the software, too. Android is a great operating system for the type of hardware it's installed on and for using a lot of cloud services and Chrome does the same thing for bigger systems. It's fun to pick the differences between Chrome the web browser and Chrome the operating system. It's great code.

Chromebook First Impressions

I had asked to be a part of Google's early Chromebook preview, the Cr-48 netbook. I wasn't accepted for the program because I'm not a tech blogger. Obviously. I was granted an invitation-only special offer of a Samsung Series 5 Chrome notebook which was available even before the Amazon preorders. This is the first of a series of posts about the Samsung Series 5 I received.

Shiniest slab in the 'verse

This (frost)bites

I did a good one on myself a while back. It was the Boy Scouts' District Camporee and I'd just woken up and, by definition, required coffee. I got out the propane stove and began setting it up. Unfortunately, I didn't realize the propane hose was pressurized and it let out a blast of propane from the fitting. Now, the day was going to warm up but mornings are still cool here in the desert. And, actually, the depressurizing jet of gas alone was cold enough to cause frostbite. So that's what it did; right across the back of my right index finger. What did I do? Grabbed it with my left hand to finish tightening down the fitting. And now I had frostbite across the back of my left index finger, too.

Warning, the following section includes graphic pictures of injury.

Ding dong

After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his new friends.
He led the way to the bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
"What's up with the big brass gong?" one of his guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?"
"Yup," replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch," said the drunk man. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong a heavy whack, and stood back.
The three stood looking at each other a moment.
Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall cried out, "YOU ASSHOLE! IT'S THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!"